Bulletins from the Pacific Packet Radio Society - page 100

took to long stays around Baltimore wharves where he amused himself by gambling away the little money that was his. To pass the time of day, he spent odd hours in Engine Company No. 5 devising Fire Codes. His one-alarm, two alarm, etc. system caught on and was eventually recognized by the National Embers Society.

In 1933, he was one of the players in a historic game of liar's poker at Windy Paradise Cafe on Water Street involving two fellows named Ebb Cedick and Rene Wei Paquet, who claimed that he had a "code in the node." Using his own method of beating the system (the Chinese remainder theorem) Ulysses won a used Philco radio with only one knob missing. In reconstructing the damaged apparatus, he stumbled onto vital principles of electronics and mathematics. His career took a turn for the worse when a patent based on these ideas was turned down. Later students of Ascii discovered that the devices were the 1001 and 2002 processors, something that Intel wishes could be left out of history books.

He also invented a new optional seven or eight hole (or nohole) code with unique assignments for everything he found on a discarded typewriter which was missing the fraction key. On the (free) advice of former patent attorney, he filed a trademark application, which was thrown out by the patent office as a frivolous application without merit. The same code was later submitted as someone else's work and eventually adopted by the ANSI X3 committee. Ulysses finally achieved recognition in 1968 when the X3.4 Task Group voted to name their code "ASCII," but not without many grueling night sessions to expand the 'acronym' to American Standard Code for Information Interchange. Ascii finally achieved parity by having his name on his original invention.

Back to the early days of Baltimore. Falling again into despondency, he threw his lot in with the mystical, migrant, bandit gypsy, Tungar Gesohnetten. As a member of his band, he lived in the Jersey Pine Barrens, living off the land and robbing travelers until routed by an expedition of state police led by Lt. Ungar Throughput.

Convicted and sentenced again to Rahway, he became a tenured professor and is known to have taught classes in Meat Science, Greek Athletics and Electronics. Some accounts have it that he married a cafeteria employee, Kay Nada, but no proof of this bond has thus far surfaced. Ulysses Ascii collapsed and died at Rahway on November 4, 1969. Medical examiners recorded that he choked on a prune pit but that foul play was suspected.

His remains were interred in the Hudson River, down wind of Bayonne Harbor by citizens' petition. He lies today near the same mystic monument to General Grant, his namesake. For further reference, consult "Sternwallow's Annals IX."

HAVE A HAPPY 4TH............ DE N6ECT

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